(From “Diaries...) I Fought the Law, and ... March 22-23: I back off the throttle. And I am more careful than usual not to “lean” too much into any of the curves–and there are plenty of them to worry about. There’s an added danger today in riding this tiny little motorcycle the 11 miles back to where the day’s float will begin. It’s one that threatens to culminate with my face–and the rest of my body–kissing the cold pavement for a few dozen feet. It’s the one thing I really fear on these early morning two-wheeler rides: black ice! And with my fixation on the roadway, I nearly miss the other danger quickly approaching. I have only seen this nemesis one other time on the lonely roads that are my “office.” But through a little break in the trees, I spot him, a couple of bends in the road away, California’s finest, the Highway Patrol. He’ll be head-to-head with me in seconds. But with all the trees, I know he hasn’t spotted me yet. Nevertheless, I have to act fast. I’m in no mood for the time-consuming mess a chance meeting with him will inevitably bring. For there’s no paperwork or plate for this little Chinese special (sold only for “off-road” use in the State) I am riding; even the Wal-Mart helmet I am wearing won’t pass official muster. Luckily, I immediately spot just what I need and act. I’m straight over the side of the road. The brakes are locked and I am sliding–halfway out of control–down the steep hillside. But I come to rest quite neatly behind a large fir tree. I click the engine off. I sit motionless as the black-and-white ambles slowly past and down the hill. He hasn’t a clue. Just to be sure, I wait a full five minutes, then start coaxing the little bike, which only now reveals its true mass (the same as mine), back up the steep hillside and onto the road. Twenty minutes later I have ‘Lil China safely stashed and concealed in the bushes. Now I can climb into my little boat and start the day’s survey. Next morning, ‘Lil China is again called upon to do its job. It’s easier today with the temperature up and black ice gone. But remarkably, on just the third turn in the route, yesterday’s close encounter of the wrong kind begins a repeat. This time it is not the CHIP headed my way; it is my other law enforcement nemesis of the last eight years–the local deputy sheriff. I instinctively reexecute yesterday’s stunt–off the road, down the hill, and into hiding in the shadow of a large tree. And it works! The deputy’s SUV ambles by, none the wiser. I can now hum my own version of the once-popular tune “I fought the law and the law won.” Today (and yesterday) I won! Such gloating, however, is to be short-lived. Only a month later, the same scenario unfolds yet again and this time the game point shall go to law enforcement. As I head down river to stage my car and boat trailer, I pass the deputy’s SUV hidden in bushes alongside the road. He spots me. I know he’ll be waiting when I come back aboard ‘Lil China in an hour. And sure enough, as I pass him coming back, he nearly flips the SUV over making his U-turn for the pursuit. Siren, lights, nothing is spared. There will be a “contact report” for the week after all! “You are going to be here a while. I’ll be writing you about five tickets, then getting a tow-truck here for the bike!” are the first two complete sentences from the deputy’s mouth. But fortunately for me, his bark proves worse than his bite on this day. An hour later, ‘Lil China has been locked and put to rest at the side of the road and a friend from a nearby residence is driving me back to where my little boat is stashed, waiting patiently. Better yet, my wallet is only two–not the promised five–tickets heavier. On the way home I quietly accept the signal: it is time for a change. Eight years of squeaking by on the fringes of the law with ‘Lil China has to end; a new era must begin. I’ll have to invest in a fully equipped, street-legal motorcycle or scooter with all the bells and whistles. So as soon as I pull into the driveway and unload, I boot up the computer and start looking for ‘Lil China’s replacement: Big China.